Letting Go

Finch-Realty-Home-For-SaleYou know when you know. The decision is clear. But next year would be a better time. Up until just two days ago, I had a plan. It was a sound plan and it allowed me a little more time to embrace the truth, I must let go.

It was the middle of night, I heard a thought “Get out of the house now.” It was so clear, I wondered if I was just making it up, half sleeping, half awake. Then I heard it again, “Get out of the house now.” I said out loud “God, is that you?” I dozed back into sleep, and awoke again to “Get out of the house now.” Okay, now I’m a little bit freaking out – do I literally need to get out of the house NOW, is the house going to blow up?

Fear is a powerful force, isn’t it? Fear can either make you fight like a fierce ninja or run like crazy. I’m a run as far away and hide kinda gal. If something scary is happening to me I want to find my safe place and curl up in a little ball. The big bad hairy beast of a fear that has me stuck in this place: letting go.

I am afraid to let go of all my hopes and dreams that were wrapped up in this home. Let go of these walls that have seen my children born and raised. Let go of the memories, good and bad, that still haunt my footsteps. As I walk around each corner, I’ll catch a glimpse of a memory. I’m always caught off guard, but I know it’s there. My bedroom is the capsule that holds the most. Every fight, every tear, every mistake I made, every failure, and every major decision – including “I think it’s time I move out” has happened in that bedroom. Not much a person wants to hold dear, and even haunts me at night. But, the fear of leaving it has me paralyzed.

It’s as if, if I leave it behind there’s no repairing it. The opportunity to fix the mistakes I’ve made are over. Now, I’m a smart woman. In my head I know that’s not true, but my heart is still holding on and desperately wants to make it right. Somehow, keeping the house – the place where it all fell apart, is the same place it could all be put back together again. My broken heart, my worst mistakes, my failures would all be restored.

“Perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18. God’s love is perfect. It cannot grow or diminish. What could I accomplish if I knew God’s love would never diminish regardless of the mistakes I’ve made? What if God’s perfect love covers all my sins, failures, mistakes and even heals the heartbreak? What if I knew that it wasn’t in the walls of this house that recovery needs to take place, but in God’s perfect provision? What if… I just let go.

Published by: Lori Young

Lori Young’s passion for God and her love for speaking and coaching have combined forces in a powerful message for women who hide the most valuable parts of themselves for the approval of others. Lori comes by this truth honestly. For years, she kept her value hidden to avoid disapproval, rejection, criticism, and conflict. Through the difficult experience of divorce, heartbreak, and broken relationships, Lori has emerged with a passion to break down what she’s learned and provide tools to help other women re-emerge to live authentically and intentionally. She is a Certified Enneagram Coach and loves coaching one on one and in group settings. You can learn more about her speaking and coaching services at loriyoungcoaching.com

Categories Divorce, Healing, Single Mom, Spirituality, TransformationTags, , 2 Comments

2 thoughts on “Letting Go”

  1. ***tears*** Wow! So very powerful! This is a verse the Lord speaks over me, often: Isaiah 43:16-19 The Message (MSG)
    This is what God says,
    the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
    who carves a path through pounding waves,
    The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
    they lie down and then can’t get up;
    they’re snuffed out like so many candles:
    “Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.
    Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
    There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.

    He is inviting you to experience the Promise Land –your Promised Land!

  2. Oh my sweet kind friend…thank you for opening up and know that there are many people behind you. Brave woman! If we all were more open about our fears, we would discover how similar we all are.
    Big hug and loads of love

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